Good afternoon. This will be your first of a few many more random confabulations about the greatest professional tackle football team never to win a Super Bowl, our Minnesota Vikings.
We all know what happened when the Vikes took to the field to play a regulation rule football game. Continuing the storied history of Viking playoff bumbles and stumbles, they snatched defeat out of the jaws of victory.
It's been somewhat of an uneventful offseason so far, compared to recent offseasons. "Clint Eastwood in cleats", Brett Favre, told Jay Leno he's going to just enjoy the next few months and not think about football. I would too if I were him, because the Bears signed Julius Peppers, the defensive end who embarrassed our left tackle, Bryant McKinnie. Embarrassed him so bad, that McKinnie was sent to the bench. Now Bryant has to try to keep Peppers out of the backfield at least two games a season. I've been told by my sources read that the Bears may play Peppers on the left side of the d-line. It would behoove the Bears' strategists to deploy him on the right end position when they lock horns with the Vikes, to take advantage of the McKinnie matchup.
The Vikes lost some valuable backup depth in recent days. Running back Chester Taylor was signed by the Bears. Taylor is a good player, sent in to spell Adrian Peterson when Peterson needed remedial instruction on how to hang onto the football, and filled the role of 3rd down back. As long as the Bears don't utilize him on screen plays vs Pittsburgh, Taylor will do well in Chicago.
Utility offensive lineman Artis Hicks was signed by the Washington Redskins. He could fill in at gaurd or either tackle positions. A injury decimated offensive line will derail a successful season, and the team currently has no one with Hicks' experience and versatility.
Finally, head coach Brad Childress has been called to testify in the Starcaps case of defensive tackles Pat and Kevin Williams vs the NFL.
Bailiff to Chilly: "do you swear to tell the truth and nothing but the truth?"